Robs Guide on IMDb

So what the hell is the story with this site anyway? I mean on one hand I couldn't imagine living in a world without it, but, on the other hand, it has got to be the biggest pooling of outright douchebaggery bullshit that human civilization has ever perpetrated upon itself.

Let me tell you the uses of IMDB:

1. You see a movie name and are curious about it, you can look it up and see who's in it, get a plot synopsis and maybe find some interesting trivia about it.

2. You see chick in a movie or TV show you can look up said TV show/movie, find her name, plug it into Google Image search and see if she's ever done anything that involves nudity.

3. Look at the rating of a movie; if it's between 5-7 it's probably worth watching, anything above or below that point will generally be crap.

That's about it, really there's no other good use for the site. You wanna know why? I'm glad you asked.

First off, it's basically an open forum for any idiot who thinks they are a film critic to proselytize about why a movie sucks or shines because of artistic merit. 95% of people could care less about the artistic merit of a movie, and the 5% that do are usually involved in making them and don't care about what regular people think. Thus, the reviews are generally worth shit.

Second, the Message Boards should not be read by anyone who is not studying Anthropology and needs data on just how much modern man is like his ancient cave-dwelling ancestors. Seriously, go look at some of them, it amazes me some of these people can use keyboards, not to mention power on their computers (but then most of them are probably Mac users). You want an example? Check out this brilliant dialog on Reign of Fire. Seriously people, it's a MOVIE, a made up story that has or never will happen.

Finally, let me hit the rating system one last time. The numbers are generally badly skewed because on any given movie people only weigh in if they really love it or really hate it; if a movie is worth seeing other people will vote and shift the number forward or backward. This anything just over the 5 mark usually has strong detractors and strong supporters with a lot of people who kind of liked it. You can't count on the really high numbers to judge because people will vote high on some movies just because they think they should. Basically, there is so much conjecture involved that the rating system is more work than it's worth.

There are many other reasons, but really these are the important ones. Just remember to use the site as a reference tool and not an opinion former and try not to poke sticks at the monkeys on the message boards, although that can be fun from time to time too.