Cracked vs Mad

A while back I wrote a bit about Mad magazine still being in print and how surprised I was. I carried on to talk about I was happy with the present state of the magazine and while that is technically still true I have to admit that I may be changing my mind.

Don't get me wrong, everything I originally said is still true, but I find reading a few more issues of the current magazine that they get a bit stale. This hurts me on a number of levels, the least of which being the nostalgic one; like I said, I grew up with Mad and I always firmly believed that just because it was funny didn't mean it was in Mad, but if it was in Mad it was funny.

This, by a great deal of circumvention, brings us to Mads dull witted ugly little brother Cracked. In the 80's Cracked was the magazine you read when there wasn't a copy of Mad around, it passed the time and had some chuckles, but at the end you felt a little cheated that it wasn't Mad you just read. Jump forward almost 30 years, into the digital age, and you now have Mad still chugging along with it's magazine and Cracked no longer on paper, but now a website, and I think I like it!

I find myself going to the Cracked site more and more as it's usually a source of at least some amusement and, at times, a bit interesting. Unfortunately this is more than I can say for Mad. Like they say, time makes fools of us all, and apparently I'm included in this statement as well.

I'll always have a soft spot for Alfred E Nueman and the William Gaines era of Mad magazine, but time's they are a changing, and this is a change I think I'll stick by.

Netflix Available in Canada

The long awaited big day has come and gone, Netflix is now available in Canada and I'm thrilled. It's not the unqualified adventure that is seen in the US, but I can live with the differences:

1. No physical rentals: Canadians will not be able to have DVD's mailed to them for viewing. This is a strictly digital service and that's just fine with me, who wants to deal with mail and discs anyway?

2. No new releases: This is a little harder to take, but not a real big deal. My understanding is that we in Canada will be unable to get the brand new releases on Netflix due to a conflict with rental outlets, like Blockbuster (fair competition and all that). Instead we are getting a more pay-per-view style service with a delay on when the movies show up on our queue. Sucky, but I rarely rush out to rent movies as soon as the hit the shelves, and even when I download them the same day I generally don't get around to watching them for a few weeks. Besides, with the current state of Blockbuster video, that rule may not be in effect for all that long anyway.

3. Xbox 360 Netflix service will not be available until later this fall: I could care less for several reasons, mainly that I wouldn't use my 360 for this anyway, this being because I keep an intercooler on my 360 to keep it from overheating and it's loud. I'll probably always use my PS3 for this, but even if you don't have a PS3 yourself, use a media center PC or wait a couple months until the service is released; they didn't say it might be coming, they said it is coming this fall.

That's about it, at 7.99/month (with the first month free) it's hard to argue with the service, especially when you consider the TV you can watch. I was a little speechless when I saw season 1 for Soap, a show fondly remembered from my childhood, but it completely blew me away when I saw The Greatest American Hero up there. Need more classic TV? How about the complete run of the original Battlestar Galactica?

I think I'm gonna like this!

Dead Rising: Patient Zero Walkthrough

A few things to note, you’ll want to collect some money along the way to make sure you have enough for everything. Also, make sure to eat as needed and save when you can. This walkthrough will give you 10 of the 12 achievements in the game and is made with a level one starter character in mind. Remember to kill as many zombies as you can and you should be at level 5 by the time you face Jed.

Start with achievement #1-A Taste of Things to Come (Create a combo weapon). After the opening cutscene you will be standing in the safehouse workshop; pick up the box of nails and set it on the workbench, then pick up the bat and combine, you’ve now got weapon #1-Spiked Bat.

Start on 2-A Bigger Taste … (Create all combo weapons, 9 of them) by going into the back store room (with ladder for roof access) and pick up the bucket against the wall. Go back into the garage and pick up a drill from the shelves, take them to the workbench and combine, you’ve now made weapon #2- Drill Bucket. Go through the back door and grab the whiskey bottle of the ground, carry on through the shed into the street for the next cutscene.

On the street run straight across to the abandoned watch shop and pick up the Kayak Paddle along the side. Now head back to the street and continue down away from the safehouse keeping your eye open for the newspaper on the ground, it’ll be on the street close to the sidewalk, just past the Sheriff’s office, when you see it pick it up. Move down the street until you see the casino on the left hand side of the street, go inside and smash the slot machines picking up all the cash you see.

Once outside the casino keep going down the street until you see the hardware store, just past the Bowling Alley on the right hand side of the street. Go past the store and head into the workshop on its side, you should still have your whiskey and newspaper so go to the workbench and combine them, you’ve now got weapon #3-Molotov Cocktail (there should be a group of zombies outside the doors so throw it at them to bump your kills). Now head back into the hardware store and grab a chainsaw; take this back in the workshop and combine it with your kayak paddle, you’ve now got weapon #4-Paddlesaw. Now continue down the street, you’ll hit a cutscene as you approach the abandoned cars and end up on top of the tanker.

When you have control again jump down and hack your way into the quarantine area (the Chainsaw paddle will be handy here) until you get to the ambulance, examining it will trigger yet another cutscene.

Now that you’re in control again you’ll have a dose of Zombrex and a container with a broken bike in it, grab the container and push it down the street to the safehouse, this thing actually makes a decent weapon and you might be able to get achievement #3-Zombie Hunter (killing 100 zombies) by the time you get to the safe house; if you don’t it’s no sweat there’s lots of time and zombies left, 100 isn’t many. Once back in the safe house you’ll get one more cutscene at the end of which you’ll have a list of parts you need. Only two of them can be stored in Inventory Slots, and one of those won’t show up till near the end of the day so it’ll take a bit of running to grab them.

Before leaving grab the box of nails on the floor and the Propane tank from beside the car in the garage for weapon #5-Improvised IED (crushing weapon and explosive). Go outside the safehouse (through yet another cutscene, this one demonstrating the Queen) and you will now start working on achievement #4-Still Creek Savior (rescue all survivors, 10 of them).

Immediately across from the safehouse you will see Dick, an old man, perched on a van. Go past him and find a Queen, there are a lot of them around, but in a pinch there is always one pestering a female zombie under the marquee in front of the casino. Once you’ve got a queen run back to the van, jump on top and smash the jar; once the zombies are gone Dick will ask for an escort to his pawnshop, it’s just down the street and will unlock the first door for achievement #5-Locksmith (unlock all doors in town, 4 of them). Go inside and chat with Dick, he’ll want to sell you a clue for the whereabouts of some bike parts and although they will be there even if you don’t buy the clue you’ll need to pay him for at least one to get achievement #6-Clueless No More (buy a clue from Dick, $1000.00). He’ll tell you to find a key for a shed that has some parts in it, the key being in the Hotel across the street; you’ll also need to get the wheel from him, but if you’re starting fresh you might not have enough money ($5000), and even if you do you’ll want to get it later as it can’t be inventoried and will tie you up carrying it back by itself.

When you exit the pawnshop run across the street and loot the casino again, then come out and investigate the shooting you’re hearing. Run around to the back alley behind the casino, jump on the dumpster, then to the awning on the building in front of you, then around front and on top of the building to meet Bob, this games version of Otis. You’ll ask him to come back to the safehouse, he’ll tell you he can’t leave without his daughter, but he’ll help you out from this location when he can. One last thing, grab a bottle of beer for later.

At this point do not drop down to the ground, instead run to the back of the roof and jump to the next building. Go over the railing, inside the building, and around the corner to the back room. Inside there will be one zombie and a key in the corner; kill the zombie, grab the key, and head back out the way you came.

Once outside go back over the railing and leap across the alley to the lower ledge on the far side, not the way you already came. Climb the ledge on top of the building, cross to the far right hand corner, and grab the Construction helmet; now go across the front of the building and drop to the ledge on the building to your left, this is the Sporting Goods Shop. Run across the awning, climb up on the roof, run across to the trapdoor and drop through. Go out the front door, unlocking door 2 in your Locksmith achievement, and go across the street to the bar beside the gas station.

Inside you will meet Gemini and Fausto, talking to them will get Gemini to join quickly, but Fausto will require 2 drinks before he’ll leave, give him any combination of beer and /or whiskey and once he’s puked he’ll join you. Move out the bar towards the gas station and angle towards the gas pumps where you can grab the gas can (a little tip here, mixing a hot dog and a soda in a blender will give you a Repulse buff, keeping zombies away for a short time) . You might want to have a Queen handy to clear the area as the zombies can get thick here. Keep on moving to the safehouse door and make sure Fausto and Gemini are right behind you when you enter. Once inside Gemini will give you $15000 for your efforts.

Go inside the workshop and with your gas can in your hands examine the bike, this will give you achievement #7-Part Way There (bring back one bike part). Before leaving put your construction helmet on the work bench and get your beer out of inventory, combining them will give you weapon #6-Foamdome (not a weapon, but a food item that allows you to stack multiple beer in one slot). Leave and head out down the street toward the Bowling Alley.

Just before the Bowling Alley there is a dumpster against a fence, jump on top of it, and then over the fence. Now move down the Back Alley, stopping by the benches to grab the spray-paint can off the ground, and go through the door on the building at the end. You are now inside the Sheriff’s office, stop and grab a shotgun from the counter and go through the front door, unlocking door #3 for the Locksmith achievement. Move across town to the bar where you found the survivors and get the pitchfork from behind the front door.

Go through the back door of the bar, in the kitchen, and in the next door over, into the department store; then move through the back doors of this building also, into the parking lot. Keep going along the back of the store and into the workshop around the corner and combine your pitchfork and shotgun for weapon #7-Boomstick (great crowd control). Now go around the corner of the workshop, grab a pylon, and go back to the workshop; combine the pylon with the spray-paint can for Weapon #8- Airhorn (kind of cool, but weak weapon).

Leave the workshop, go around the corner toward the theater, and go inside. Once here take a minute to loot the slots, then head into the theater, past the curtained screen, and open the back door, opening locked door #3 for achievement #5-Locksmith. Kill the few zombies in the alley and grab the engine against the wall. This is a good time to head for the safehouse as your hands are full.

Once inside the safehouse Gemini will be crying in the junkyard, talk to her and she’ll ask you to retrieve her gems she abandoned “at the roadblock” (they’re actually in plain sights when you get there). Leave the safe house and head toward the hardware store, the shed is on the far side of the lot beside it. Open the locked door with your key and get achievement #5-Locksmith. Run your forks back to the safehouse and come back out.

Head back down to the quarantine area to get the jewels, but just before entering the quarantine area turn into the last alley, by the abandoned cars, and move down the alley until you get to the end; once there you’ll see a car battery on top of a dumpster, grab it and head back to the workshop beside the hardware store; set it on the bench, go in the store, grab a leaf rake, head back to the workshop and combine them to make weapon #9-Electric Rake (this will be very handy in the quarantine area), and you’ve just got achievement #2-A Bigger Taste … (all combo weapons created). Now use your rake to clear the zombies out and get the gems at the roadblock, the gems are on the passenger side of a yellow car with the doors missing. Run these back to the safehouse to deliver the gems (you’ll get a $15000 reward) and come back out for the next rescue.

Once you’re outside again Bob will flag you down and tell you about a couple of pretty girls in the bowling alley you should help. Jump down, loot the casino, and go to the bowling alley where you will meet Nikki and Tia; they’ll refuse to go anyplace until you look for their friend Sharon in the Quarantine area. Leave the alley and head toward the quarantine area.

Move down the road to the quarantine area and go to the back tent on the right hand side, you’ll hear Sharon calling for help. You’ll need to give her your dose of Zombrex to get her to come and you’ll have to carry her, but once you get back to the bowling alley the other two girls will come to the safehouse quickly.

Head back out and go for your bike handlebars. By this time Archie and Jason should have spawned behind the department store so you can either head directly there or talk to Bob when he flags you over, either way stop at the Sporting Goods store and pick up a broadsword to give to Jason; a queen will also help speed things up. Go through the department store out the backdoors and clear the zombies off the boys (queen works great here) then talk to Jason, he’ll ask for a sword and allow you to trade the handlebars for it. Once he has the sword both boys will join you so head back to the safehouse to deliver the handlebars.

Only thing left to do until 7:00 is run to the pawnshop and pick up the wheel and a dose of Zombrex for Katey (between looting the slots and Gemini’s reward you should have plenty of cash) In the safehouse drop the wheel at the bike to fix it and get achievement #8 Ready to Ride. At this time it’s largely a waiting game, depending on how fast you did everything else, you have a bit of time to hang out in town, sample some food mixes and make sure you got all your kills for 3-Zombie Hunter, (I’d also suggest picking up an assault rifle for dealing with Jed) just make sure you’re close to Bob at 7:00 for the next cutscene.

After the zombie cutscene Bob will want to talk to you again as he’s finally seen his daughter in the Sporting Goods store (she will not spawn until you talk to Bob, so don’t waste your time). After talking to Bob go to the store and talk to Darcie, who won’t leave without her dad; go back up top, talk to Bob, he’ll now join and follow you to her, after which she will also join and allow you to take them back to the safe house, giving you achievement #4-Still Creek Savior (rescue all survivors). I suggest making sure you have a sword for the coming fight as well and this is your last real chance to get one.

Back in the safe house I would suggest topping your health up and grabbing a spare jug of orange juice. Now go back in the garage and give Katey her Zombrex, triggering a cutscene that introduces Jed, the one psychopath in the game. Jed wants to kill Katey because she’s going become a zombie and you have to protect her. The fight isn’t too bad, empty the assault rifle into him, drink the juice after he hits you a few times, and then finish him with the sword. He goes down and you get achievement #9 Chop Shop.

With Jed out of the way you can now get on your bike and leave town. Examining your bike will trigger a cutscene with Chuck leaving the garage and being intercepted by the army. This leads to a chase out of town that, ends in achievement #10-We Ride to Fortune City.

The other two Small Town, Deep Pockets (Spend $100,000) at the pawnshop and Zombie Exterminator (Kill 1000 zombies) and can easily be cleaned up in a subsequent playthrough as the money spent is cumulative between gameplays and if you have nothing else to do, killing 1000 zombies is easy to do.

Dead Rising: Patient Zero A Bigger Taste

'A Bigger Taste...' is an achievement in Patient Zero, the name being a play off another achievement, 'A Taste of Things to Come'. I had to play through the game a couple times to complete this one and thought I'd share. A Taste of Things to Come is easy to get, just build any combo weapon, I got mine from the Spiked Baseball Bat, but A Bigger Taste requires building all the available combo weapons in Patient Zero. Here is you're guide to A Bigger Taste:

1. Spiked Baseball Bat: A box of nails and a bat, you can find both of these in the safehouse garage, right beside the workbench. This is a great default weapon.

2. Improvised IED: A box of nails and a propane tank. Another simple no brainer that can be built without leaving the safehouse. Once you've built it find a group of zombie's, hold the attack button to slam it into someones back, then run away and shoot the tank, works great for crowd control.

3. Molotov Cocktail: A bottle of whiskey and some newspaper. There is whiskey is in the junkyard behind the safehouse but I had to go outside to get the newspaper; closest one is in front of the pawnshop down the street. Not as good as the IED, but a lot quicker to use when the time crunch is on.

4. Drill Bucket: An electric drill and a bucket. There are several drills in the safehouse, including on the shelves in the garage, by the car, and the bucket can be found in the store room with the ladder to the roof. A fun weapon to be sure, but requires picking up off the ground after each use. Trust me, you've got better uses for inventory space!

5. Kayak Paddle Chainsaw: Kayak Paddle and a Chainsaw (duh) and you need to leave the safehouse for both parts. There is only one paddle on the map, on the walk beside the abandoned watch repair shop, directly across the street from the safehouse door. Chainsaws can be found in the hardware store down the street, just before the quarantine area, and a workshop is attached to the store. Works great, you're basically untouchable, but doesn't last long enough to be a main weapon and it slows you down.

6. Foamdome: Beer bottle and construction helmet. There is only one helmet on the map, on the roof of the building attached to the Sporting Goods store; you run past it going to unlock the Sporting Goods store. Beer is all over the place, check the bar across the street from the Sporting Goods store if all else fails. This one isn't a weapon, it allows you to carry a couple food items in one inventory slot.

7. Electric Rake: Car Battery and Leaf Rake. Rakes are all over the map, including in the hardware store, but there is only one battery in the map. When you exit the quarantine area there is an alley running to your right, just past the stalled cars; run down the alley, around the corner and you'll see the battery sitting on top of the dumpster up against the building. I really liked this one, but the battery retrieval is tough, it doesn't fit in an inventory slot so you're hands are full during the run back.

8. Boomstick: Shotgun and pitchfork. Shotguns are in a few places, Sheriffs office and sporting goods store, for example, but there is only one pitchfork, behind the door of the bar beside the gas station oddly enough. This is a great crowd control weapon, clearing groups with each shot.

9. Airhorn: Spaypaint and Roadcone (Pylon). There are two cans of paint in the map, one on the roof of the safehouse and one in the alley behind the sheriff's office. Roadcones can be found in the quarantine area or outside the workshop attached to the department store. A largely useless weapon, unless you have all the time in the world and more inventory slots than you know what to do with.

The airhorn took me the longest, despite the can of paint being one of the first items I picked up, I just couldn't figure out what to attach it to. One other point, there are 3 workshops in the map, in the Safehouse, beside the hardware store, and off the parking lot behind the department store. Hope that helps someone out.

Dead Rising: Patient Zero

In anticipation for Dead Rising 2, a long awaited sequel to one of the best games I've ever played, I downloaded and gave Dead Rising: Patient Zero a play through this weekend.. Conclusion? Not too shabby!

In what would be a great move for future games Capcom releases a small teaser that was more than just a demo, Patient Zero is instead a small game of it's own, meant to tie the events of Dead Rising 1 and Dead Rising 2 together. Costing about 5 bucks (400 MS Points on Xbox Live) you get what amounts to a couple hours of game time that allows you to bring your character up to level 5, these levels then being brought into the full Dead Rising 2 gameplay when it's released. In nutshell, your character, Chuck, is stuck in a small desert town with his daughter, who is need of Zombrex, (probably the same drug Isabella whipped up for Frank at the end of Dead Rising, but now mass produced for the epidemic) to stay alive, and fighting zombies while looking for the means to escape the imminent military incursion.

You get a map of a small town in the desert, the chance to interact with survivors, get a taste of building combo weapons, and just get a feel for the game itself. While the combo mechanics will likely get old after a while, you do get some impressive weapons; I personally liked the kayak paddle with a chainsaw strapped to each end, nice mob control.

I can't say this won't suffer from the same problem as Bioshock 2, a stripped down campaign that makes room for multiplayer, amounting to little more than an expansion pack, but I can at least say the mechanics feel good and they made a few changes that naysayers of Dead Rising will appreciate:

1. Otis and his Radio of Death: Gone was the incessant beeping of the radio and Otis lecturing you on being rude, instead there is a semi-psychotic man with a rifle on a rooftop, yelling at you when he has a mission for you. Don't want to deal with survivors? Ignore him! Personally, I think it might be tough to get all the missions, but I did hate that radio.

2. The single save slot: Now there are three, is everyone happy? Now me, I liked the single save, gave the game more urgency to make the right decision, but whatever. You can now back up and start from another point in the game.

3. Survivor AI: Even I hated dealing with bonehead survivors who were busy running in corners yelling "Frank! Frank!". Patient Zero only has you rescue 10 survivors, but I was very impressed with their ability to follow and defend themselves. That'll probably mean tighter time crunches between scoops (the final rescue in Patient 0 is a real nutbuster for time), but should be less frustrating to deal with as a mission on their own.

Synopsis of Patient Zero: Based on this short gameplay, if you liked Dead Rising you're going to like Dead Rising 2. It amazed me how quickly I fell into the old game patterns and I'm very excited to start butchering the undead.