Darcy's List of Actors that have Disappointed

My Nicolas Cage post got me thinking about all the actors whose presence in the credits use to make me cough up money for the theater but now the mere mention of their name makes me wince.

This will be a 5 count down because I'd have to stretch to think of 10.

Number 5 ...... Brad Pitt


Brad I wanted to hate you because or your poster boy looks but you totally blew me away with Fight Club, Twelve Monkeys, Kalifornia, and your bit part in True Romance was awesome! I even found myself liking A River Runs Through It thanks to your performance. I would have never believed a story around fishing could have been that good. Wait ... okay maybe I still like 90% of your movies it's just the constant bombardment about your relationship with Angelina and Jennifer that wears on my nerves. I know its not your fault so I apologize for you being on the list but I'm sorry your name in a movie trailer now makes me wince.

Number 4 ...... Christian Slater


Dude you were in my all time favorite movie, True Romance! You made the early 90s classics Kuffs, Heathers (ok Heathers was 80s), and Untamed Heart. Yes those might be kind of lame movies but you managed to make them cool. Then you disappeared and the first movie I see you back in was the horrid movie Alone in the Dark! It's going to take more than a few voice overs in Robot Chicken to win me back.

Number 3 ...... Mickey Rourke


Okay this might seem strange that I'd put you on this list Mickey after your supposed success with The Wrestler. The Wrestler was okay for what it was, an artsy independent flick, but it lets be honest it wasn't The Godfather or True Romance . Mickey I loved your performance in Diner, The Pope of Greenwich Village, Johnny Handsome, and you were awesome as Marv in Sin City. Why oh why do you do things like your acceptance speech at Independent Spirit Awards. It made you look like a dumb ass!

Number 2 ...... Mathew McConaughey


Okay Mathew I think it's cool that you lived in a trailer and are totally into the the surf/beach life. Maybe you should retire and just commit to 100% to perfecting the beach push-up. Yes you have Amistad, A Time to Kill, and Reign of Fire tagged to your name but you also have Sahara (my god that was awful) and even worse Failure to Launch. In fact, the only other non-horrid movie I can think of is The Newton Boys. You seemed to have some acting ability but all the pot and naked bongo drum playing must have killed it.

Number 1 ... suspense .... Nicolas Cage


Really I said it all in this post.

Special Mention Goes to ...... Ray Liotta


Ray you were in one of the best gangster movies ever, Goodfellas. Then you star, In the Name of the King, a Uwe Boll movie! Making things worse you came off as the cheesiest evil wizard ever in movie history. Did no one point out the online petition for Uwe Boll to stop making movies. The only reason you never took the top spot is that honestly other than Goodfellas I can't think of any other movie with you in that wasn't just bad, maybe Cop Land but that is a big maybe because I honestly can't remember much about it.

Wow once I started I could have gone on to mention many many others but I'll stop here for now. Next post will be positive I promiss :)