Hotline Miami

I was going to arbitrarily dismiss Hotline Miami as soon as I saw the Devolver logo, but I figured I went to all the trouble to start it and it was good enough to run with no problems, so what the Hell! Starting it up didn't appear to offer much I was interested in, low-res graphics, 80's pseudo-nostalgia, and wonky controls, but I'd heard good things about this game so I powered through. I gotta say, it's not bad.

You play a hitman in 1980's Miami, taking jobs for pay, and just generally living the dream. The jobs are essentially puzzles, you need to enter a building and move through, killing everyone present; the puzzle comes in the form of how you approach and neutralize as you start every level weaponless and need to take care how many people notice you before you're ready for them.

NES era graphics or not, there's a lot of blood in this game.

The controls are wonky and not very fluid, but I'm pretty sure this was by design, you have to be more careful on approaches, making timing more key. The game itself is quite point driven, combo's, killing move's, etc all adding up to bigger and bigger numbers, but I found the puzzle angle enough to keep me interested, I don't care about accumulating points.

I'm going to give this guy 8/10, although I'm tempted to go a little higher. If you manage to get this one on sale for a couple bucks, it's highly recommended, at full price I can't recommend it as highly, but there are probably worse ways to waste your money.

Left 4 Dead

I loved Left 4 Dead, what more can I say? This is one of the few games I have been willing to go online and play with unknown ass-hats across the world, and with few regrets. This is not a thinking persons game, this is a survival shooter that achieves everything it sets out to, for better or worse.

This picture proves world peace is within our grasp.

9/10 on this one, as great as it is, it's better with other people, which is a failing as far as I'm concerned. Pick it up and play the solo campaign if you want, there's nothing wrong with it, but there is no magic either, you need other people to make the sparks fly on this one.

Sine Mora

Sine Mora is a bit different than I expected, but being as how the title gave me absolutely nothing to work with, I guess that's to be expected. I figured it'd be some kind of low grade RPG, but it actually turned out to be an interesting little side scrolling air plane shooter, something like a cross between 1941 and the original Super Mario Brothers.

As Sine Mora's go, this is defentiely the most I've ever seen.

The game has great graphics, decent mechanics, and what appears to be quite a story written into to if you have the time and patience to read paragraphs of text in between missions, which I do not. The spoken language for the game is likely Asian in origin, but being as I do not speak that language any more than I have the patience for the text, I paid no attention to.

The unique factor of this game is actually a couple of points: 1. You don't die from getting shot or hit, only drop weapon power ups (which can be picked up again), but there is a timer counting down that gets replenished by kills and power ups, you only die when time runs out; 2. A time dilation mechanic that allows you to slow everything down on the screen except yourself (maybe not unique, but it is for this style of game); and 3. Holding the space bar allows you to speed through dialogue sections, of which there are many.

I'm going to do 7/10 for Sine Mora, it's a nice little game that I got more play time out of than I expected.

Ticket to Ride

Ticket to Ride is based on a board game by the same name and I have no qualms about admitting it is one of the better board games I've ever played.

The game is simple in execution: You get a map, North America for example, and a number of cities connected by spaces. You get cards, that act as goals, naming which cities you need to connect; other cards are drawn to give you train cars for the connection; get the right number of cards with the correct colors and you've done it. Rinse and repeat until train cards are gone

Trains, do men ever get tired of playing them?

As always, there is more to it than that, but that's the general idea. Keep collecting cards, hoping no one else decides to use the route your trying to build or even just cut you off from yours. The game is meant to be played by multiple parties, but you can use AI too, it works well enough.

9/10 for Ticket to Ride, the video game is a perfect analogue of the board game, and there is more play time here than you can imagine.

Plants vs Zombies

Plants vs Zombies is not the original tower defense game, but it defined the genre for both what it was capable of and how it should be done. This is a great game, and it has a pretty snappy theme song!

Using anthropomorphic plants to fight off waves of zombies is not the vision or of a sane or rational human being, but it is a lot of fun. Collect sun to buy more and better plants and use their defensive and offensive abilities to fight off zombies, that's the whole game in a nutshell. The campaign is more than enough for several hours of playtime, changing up the environment, and strategies, as it goes, but there are also a number of mini-games that get unlocked along the way.

Pictured: FUN!

I cannot think of anything this game should have done differently or could have done better. It's pretty much a casual game, but there is a lot of playtime involved so this gets 10/10, highest recommendations.

Space Hulk

I got Space Hulk on a Humble Store sale for two reasons: 1. It was cheap, and 2. I have fond memories of playing Space Hulk: Vengeance of the Blood Angels on the PS1. All I can say is, I'm glad I got it cheap, cause Blood Angels it is not.

There it is in all its spacey hulky glory.

Main thing that needs to be said is, this is not an FPS, this is an electronic adaptation of a board game, it would have saved me some trouble if I'd realized that I was not getting an updated version of Blood Angels. Taken in those terms it works well, I'd even say very well, but if you're expecting any action you'll be disappointed. Each turn allows you to move your men, some with different actions, then wait for dice rolls to dictate how they fare in the fights, once they are placed there is nothing you can do to influence the play.

The game looks great and the mechanics work very well, however repetitive animations and lack of control limit the audience from people wanting action or real goals. I milked a great deal of extra play time out of it by fulfilling achievements (I'm very goal oriented in my gaming) and getting them can be challenging, but that's not a selling point, just a comment.

There seem to be a great deal of con's to this game, but I still got a great deal of enjoyment out of it. I'll give this one 6/10 for those reasons, but only because I got it so cheap, at full price I cannot recommend this game.

LA Noire

I am not a huge Rockstar fan, I find many of their games pedantic and pandering, however I have to admit they give everything they've got in every game. LA Noire may not be the best game I ever played, but I am a fan of the effort, and it is a good game.

I would say the best part of this game is the story that is unravelled one thread at a time through several different means. You play Cole Phelps, a war "hero" trying to apply his sense of ethics into post war 1940's Los Angeles. To say much more would give away a great deal of the story that you should find out for yourself by playing the game, but I will say Cole is a unique anti-hero, a very flawed character trying to do right as he see's it.

Pictured: Not Cole Phelps

The game mechanics are nothing short of amazing. Interrogation programming utilized motion capture that allows you to actually recognize actors and delivers tiny cues for those tricky interrogations. The shooting and driving works as good as any Rockstar game, and the map is modelled on actual city of Los Angeles street plans from that era, great looking, well detailed, and huge; in a game like this, where you literally spend half the game examining the scenery and travelling, this is a key point, and it was done very well.

Unfortunately the problems are as glaring as the positives. The game pacing suffers; going from intense interrogations to flat out gang warfare in the blink of an eye is jarring (I'm assuming at some point the project managers said "Hey, we're Rockstar, when do we stop thinking and start shooting and stealing?") Also, I hated the character of Cole Phelps; he's well written and likely came off exactly as intended, but I have rarely felt that much loathing for an individual (may not make much difference to anyone else, but it's important to me). One last thing, the game requires a fair bit of work to play effectively, I found myself keeping extensive notes to keep track of clues and suspects, maybe not everyone's idea of a good time.

I like this game, but I don't know that I really enjoyed it, it was a bit more work than I'm used to in my leisure time. As such, I'm very torn about how to rate it but I'm going 8/10 with a sale caveat: if you get it on sale, which it often is, it's well worth it, but this is not a full price game

Bioshock Infinite

I love me some Bioshock, yes I do, still, no love is unrequited. Bioshock Infinite is a decent game, I played through it, and even enjoyed some of the DLC, however it doesn't meet the bar set by Bioshock 1 or 2. I'd love to know how it would have fared if it didn't have the "Bioshock" legacy attached, I think it would be dropped and forgotten. Set as a prequel/sequel to Bioshock 1 and 2 (play the game to find out how that works) I was highly anticipating this game, maybe it's perceived failure is my fault.

I've given this considerable thought and come to the conclusion that it left the parts that really made it work in Rapture and tried to forge a path into country that wasn't built for paths. Rapture was dark, shadowy, claustrophobic, and scary, the very city itself made you feel like it would kill you without a second thought: Columbia is often bright and airy, and, at times, cheery. Yes, the further you get into the game the darker it gets, figuratively and literally, but it still feels too open, I never got a sense of danger from anything environmental. I did respect the thematic religious overtones of the game, they were a great metaphor, but ultimately did nothing for me on a personal level, it felt more like window dressing;I actually identified with Andrew Ryan and his Libertarian agenda in Rapture, helping me invest in the experience.

Although it is not without its charms...

Game play is solid, if uninspired, I played the bulk of the game using almost no vigors, using only guns on many levels, for which a great deal of ammo can be either found or bought, taking away survivalist urgency. In place of Big Daddies you had vigor equipped bad guys who made things tougher, but since there were so many you got desensitized to them and never really came to dread them, like you did when facing down a Big Daddy. Finally, despite her helpfulnesses and no requirement to defend, I never got used to having Elizabeth with me, it made the whole game feel like one long escort mission.

If you get this cheap, pick it up, I'll give it a 6/10, it's not a bad game, but it amounts to little more than a time filler, not an experience. A much better name for this would have been Bioshock: Call of Duty, it's just another big budget project that can't forget it's past success.

Portal 2

I liked Portal 2, there isn't a great deal to separate it from it's progenitor, other than multiplayer, for which I do not care, but it does add in a few things and fills out the Aperture Science back story as elegantly as I could imagine. This is essentially what a sequel should strive to be.

If you played Portal you've played Portal 2, solve puzzles to continue, but this time with a bit more characterization to the facility. The feeling of the passage of time in the lower levels of the facility work great, as do the voiceovers to fill in the history, plus the addition of the means to create portals in new places. Small changes, but well done.

Potral 2, now more portally!

I don't know what more to say about Portal 2, you should play this game for yourself, if you haven't already. 10/10 for this title, I can't find anything wrong with this game or anything that could have been done differently.

Left 4 Dead 2

To be blunt, Left 4 Dead 2 doesn't offer much over what it's predecessor did, but, how much more do you need? High impact survival with limited resources, now with melee weapons, these were the best of times, these were the worst of times.

The basic game is what it should be, run through levels trying to stay alive and keep your team-mates alive, because that's how you stay alive, finding what you need as you go. 2 adds in a few change ups to that make the game more challenging, such as resource hunting, inclement weather, and moderate special infected to balance out the new weapons and survival items. Gotta love dusting a tank with a vial of boomer bile and watching the regular infected swarm (pro tip, completing that combo with a Molotov cocktail give the zombie survival 'E' trifecta: Effective, Efficient, and Entertaining)

Fighting a tank is often a tad bit challenging, 2 of them is not double the fun.

There is really nothing wrong with this game, my only real complaint is not being able to play the original team; it seemed like a bit of a cheap out, a way of psuedo-advancing the story without having to put any writing effort into it. I also have to say melee weapons are not my style, they work well here, and can save your ass, but I'm more of a shoot 'em up kind of guy than a bash 'em up. I can't say these changes ruin, or even hurt, the game in anyway, they just kind of rubbed me wrong a little bit.

9/10, this is a great game, the changes done didn't do much for me, but that's me. All you need to remember is, the basic game is unchanged, and always shoot the smokers first, give 'em half a chance and they will ruin your whole day.

Bioshock 2

There are sequels that leave you wondering why you even bothered playing the first one and there are sequels that make you run out and find the first one so you can experience everything that world has to offer. While Bioshock 2 doesn't achieve everything it set out to, it certainly does fill out the 'experience the whole world category'.

I love this game, I've played it time and time again, but it isn't the horizon expanding experience Bioshock was. You're back in Rapture, this time a Big Daddy, with a new set of bosses, but largely the same set of goals as before, save or sacrifice little girls to survive and fulfil your agenda. I'll give it points for being a full standalone, there is nothing missed if you never did play 1, and in some ways this is a better game, such as dual wielding guns and plasmids; I wanted to include the ocean floor free roam in there, but it actually doesn't enhance the game that much, cool yes, but not true free roam.

It is actually much cooler than this looks.

As good as it is it should have been much more, but it suffered heavily during development, not only to standard rewrites, but, more importantly, in concept delivery. The Big Sisters populating rapture were supposed to be one boss battle at the end, making them more of a pain in the ass than an experience, and apparently a large portion of innovated game was ripped out to make room for a multi-player addition that, while I've only heard good things about, was never extensively played; funny thing, almost as if people who thrive on suspense laden, semi-horror driven gaming, don't care to mix it up online with a bunch of ass-hats.

As a stand alone game this doesn't deliver anything new or ground breaking, but, pick it up on sale and treat it as episode 2 of Bioshock, as opposed to a new entity, and it'll deliver more Bioshocky goodness than you can shake a plasmid at. I'll call this at 9/10, it could have been  more, but still a very, very good game.

Borderlands 2

Borderlands 2 is a magnificent game and might well be perfect if not for a few details.

There is a massive amount of fun to be had in this game, the levels are well crafted and the bad guys are diverse and unique, diversity that follows into the level maps and quests, to a large extent. I do have to say that, although the game delivers a more quantifiable goal than the first one did, I found the ending to be a little weak, however I wasn't really steam rolled by 1 in that aspect either.

The sign says it all, take my word for it.

The character classes are not quite as well balanced as they were in the first, but I'm thinking that was deliberate to try and amp up the multiplayer aspect; I was still able to solo the classes I tried, but some parts of the game were a challenge. The biggest issue I had is one they hyped the most: the loot drops. I spent more time deciding which guns and items to sell and which to keep than I did shooting things trying to kill me, it was a loot overload, plain and simple (we'll call this a First World Problem though). Neither of these may be problems for others, but they put a bit of sand in my craw.

9/10 on this one, a well built and thoroughly enjoyable game that, although I did have a couple gripes with, delivers a great time right up the ending credits. I should also note, some of the DLC is pretty decent and even includes a Christmas themed level.

Mafia 2

This is not only one of my favorite games of all time, it was probably the biggest surprise. I picked Mafia 2 up on a Steam Christmas sale a few years ago on a whim; the price was right and I'd heard decent things about it. I ended up not only playing the game through, but I picked up all the DLC and played through several more times before that holiday season was over.

As much as I loved this game I've always had a tough time quantifying why; it plays much like a scaled down Grand Theft Auto game, but where I've never really gotten into those titles, I found myself totally immersed in the life of Vito Scalleta and his journey through organized crime. I have to add, the soundtrack, period specific music, added immensely to the experience even if it was a bit anachronistic. Same goes for the Playboy magazines hidden through the game, no less pleasing for being totally out of their time.

I think I need to play this again.

An over the shoulder 3rd person action game, you steal cars, and shoot other, worse guys, in an effort to make your way in the world. The game play itself is nothing more than you'd expect, it's well done and enjoyable, but not extraordinary and while the game does have full free roam, there are no side quests outside the main storyline; this game grabbed me because if it's story. I like Vito and wanted to see how things play out for him, he may be the best example of a flawed hero I've ever encountered, and, for better or worse, I identified with him.

Obviously this game gets 10/10, from the opening moments at the end of WWII, to the depths of prison, to the end of Vito's journey, I stayed with him every step of the way.

Orcs Must Die

Orcs Must Die is unequivocally one of my favorite games of all time. I bought it on a Steam Christmas sale a few years back not knowing anything about it, other than it was cheap, little did I know how much fun it would be. This is currently the only game in my library which I completed every achievement for

You play an untalented War-Mage tasked with keeping Orcs from invading a magic portal, using a series of obstacles, traps, and spells. As the game progresses you get better items to use to fight off larger and tougher enemies. At it's heart this is a tower defence game with a lot of action; it's possible to do a great deal of fighting personally, but the traps are needed to win.

Tar traps, spike walls, acid pots, and crossbow! Yup everything looks good here.

The standard campaign can be beaten without too much difficulty with a set strategy of force multipliers, such as barricades and tar traps to slow and channel forces, but making sure nothing gets through can be a bit more of a challenge; besides, why deny yourself the inherent joy of watching a group of orcs literally get diced up in a wall blade trap. Move on to the Nightmare mode and shit gets real in a big hurry. Between the humor (I think Bruce Campbell was more than a passing though on designing the mage) and non stop action you get one hell of a good game.

Like Spinal Tap, this game scores 11 because 10/10 is not high enough to give it all the credit it deserves. I can think of few games I will ever give higher recommendations for.

Star Wars: Repubic Commando

I seriously love me some Star Wars, but gaming has rarely been good to it. There are a few exceptions, but the license has just been to lucrative, encouraging dev studios to flood the market with crap (people will buy anything with 'Star Wars' on it). Fortunately, there are exceptions, like Star Wars: Republic Commando.

A late Xbox era FPS, this game should have been total junk, there are no Jedi and it introduces new "heroes" that no one ever expected to be worth a story, but, and this is a huge 'but', I think the game is good because of these things, not in spite of it. You play the leader of a squad of specially grown clones tasked with the most difficult missions of the Clone Wars; the initial campaign is through the Geonosian battle from Attack of the Clones, and the action feels nothing less than authentic.

The game has aged incredibly well, it'll be 10 years old in a few months, but still as imminently playable as it was in 2005. The lack of need for a background on your character leaves room for personal immersion you almost never find in an FPS; you also get a lot of character from your squadmates with little effort, and don't need to be distracted from your game in order get the standard Star Wars backfill.

Ah, the old stab the commando in the back trick!

The game has a great flow to it, the weapons work well and feel authentic, and the enemies are really well made, being both interesting and challenging. The squad command system works really well too, there isn't a lot of variation on how to utilize your squad, but that keeps from over complicating the interaction, keeping you immersed in the experience.

10/10 on this one, maybe the best Star Wars game made to date, definitely one of my favourite games of all time.

Borderlands

I can sum this whole thing up in 3 words: Borderlands is fun! I enjoyed this game from start (I still love the intro song) to finish and relished every gun I picked up and every bullet I fired from each one. There is no pretension in this game, it doesn't set out to make the world a better place, or tell an epic tale, you simply get an endless shooting gallery with explosive headshots and shotguns filled with acidic pellets that melt your foes, literally.

Borderlands is built for and intended to be played multiplayer, however it is fully playable solo, the game manages to handle ramping perfectly; play solo and you get bad guys, play 2 players, you get more and tougher bad guys, so on and so forth up to 4 players. I have played co-op, but the bulk of my hours have been solo, the game functions equally well in both modes.

This screencap would have added more if there had been a headshot in it, but it communicates the general idea.

The four playable characters each have their unique strengths; I'vee solo'd the game with every one of them and, although the Siren is my favorite, I've enjoyed each one. Whether it be headshotting bandits, putting a well aimed bullet down a skag's throat, or shotgunning raks out of the air, the game delivers fun and good time action in every way.

This is one of my all time favourites, easily top 5 games of all time, and as such deserves nothing less than the best: 10/10, I cannot recommend this game highly enough.

Bioshock

Every once and a while a perfect melding of theme, action, story, and execution, giving a ray of sunshine into AAA gaming that will reinforce your belief in the purpose of humanity: this games name was Bioshock. If you have played the game then all I can say is "I know, right?"; if you have not, then I have no words for you, and must ask, why do you hate your life?

Underwater civilization in collapse, crazed super powered drug addicts, armour plated Goliaths, and creepy little girls, this game has it all. Rarely has an FPS/RPG ever worked this well but it does.

There it all is.

Bioshock falls firmly in my top 5 games of all time. I don't remember how many times I've played through it and I've been enthralled by every moment I spent in Rapture.

10/10 there is literally nothing more I can say about this game without writing volumes.

Oil Rush

I generally like strategy games and Oil Rush is a decent example of one, however I think the interface, built specifically for this game, is too clunky. Long loading screens and cheesy dialogue for the cut scenes don't help it's case either.

As the title suggests, you need to control resources (oil) in a future world that has been flooded. Using oil for currency you can buy units and upgrades to fight off attacks and take control of existing resources. The game is really well detailed, the action is pleasing to watch, and the game touts a stripped down interface. Unit and resource production bases are not built, only captured, and units are auto-generated based on the building designation; the same goes for unit deployments, you select their base, then determine what percentage of available manpower is sent out.

Definitely a nice looking game.

The game looks great and it has a decent concept for the plot, however I'm finding the interface to be problematic. The key to a great RTS is a fluid interface that allows you to be quick at each action; with this one I found unit selection and upgrading to be a bit slow. I'm sure more practice would increase my ability, but the great RTS's I can remember playing, like Warcraft I and II, didn't require that time, just time to get into the flow of the game. I also found the loading times to be a little too long, there is a lot going on in each map and, once loaded, they perform well, but it's a little distracting.

6/10 for Oil Rush, a good looking game with an interesting premise (even if a bit overdone), but execution on the game mechanics falls short, either because of or in spite of the design.

Puzzle Agent

I'm a Telltale fan, I think they have a great business model, buying existing licenses and gaming them; Puzzle Agent and Puzzle Agent 2 seem to be a new IP for them, but still a very good example of their talent. I can't say these are the best games I've ever played, but I got much more enjoyment out of them than I expected.

As member of the FBI Puzzle Research Department you travel to the town of Scoggins, Minnesota to solve a mystery, said investigation involving a series of puzzles. The town is populated with an eclectic group of people involved in a very strange set of circumstances (hard to say much more without spoiling), leading to some very challenging puzzles and quite a bit more genuine humour than I expected. Puzzle Agent 2 is required to get the full story as it's not so much a sequel as it is episode 2, but it does wrap the story up nicely.

Spoiler alert: This is an actual solution to one of the puzzles

I enjoy puzzles in games, but I've actually never really been sold on video games based on puzzles, I find they often lack context that allow full grasp,  a problem this game is rife with. I'd also cite an imbalance in the puzzle difficulty throughout this game, some at the start are harder than some at the end, but that could simply be subjective, due to my skill set, and not technically true.

I got about 10 hours of play out of these two games, which isn't bad; I'd say the story plods along a little bit, due to conversation dialogs, but it is interesting, and, again, funny enough to have kept me going. I'll do an 8/10 on these 2; puzzles tend to the esoteric, and, although the playtime seems a bit short, it's actually about right for this style of game. This gets Robs Stamp of Approval!

Dear Esther

There isn't much to say about Dear Esther as it isn't a game in any sense I'm accustomed to. I didn't play much of it, although I did play more than I expected to, mostly because I was wondering when something would start happening. The whole thing is nothing more than walking around an island, a very beautifully rendered island,  listening to letters dictated to you; that's it, that's the whole "game".

Looking at this screen cap has literally allowed you to play a part of the game.

I did a bit of reading about it after playing a bit and found that it is a big deal on the indie scene, a whole new genre of game. You may ask, who is going to be playing said genre? I certainly don't know, I just know it won't be me.

2/10, the game is very pleasing on the eyes, and the letters are intriguing in their ambiguity, but there is literally nothing to do here.

Neighbours from Hell

Not knowing what to expect, as I don't remember when I got these games, I thought I'd give Neighbours from Hell a try. Starting it up seemed to promise a platformer, but that promise was a very pleasant lie. There are 2 entries in this title, but they are little more than 2 episodes of the same game.

The game is a point and click puzzler that actually manages to pull off some of the humour it's driving for. Concept is simple: you play tricks on a neighbour, sneaking around the house, or vacation spot, finding items to use, then setting up the tricks, while avoiding getting caught by him, his pets, or, in the sequel, his mother; not much story, but it's not needed. The levels also do a great job of ramping up the difficulty, allowing you to get your feet wet and learn how to play before getting hardcore.

Sneaky little shit, isn't he?

I have to say there is quite a bit of re-playability to it as it's very compelling to go back and redo levels to try and up your ratings, timing your tricks to get the neighbour madder and madder. A single play of both titles can easily be done in under 10 hours, but going for the full score will almost double that. I'm not much of a fan of the "sitcom tv" style the game uses, but I see where the designer was going with it, and it's not obtrusive.

9/10 on this one for me, it's inexpensive, engaging, and, best of all, fun. Only caveat is, point and click puzzles may not be for everyone.

Papers, Please

Papers, Please is a game that should be arbitrarily dismissed as crap: very little story or plot, exceedingly low-res graphics, topped off with point and click gameplay. You play a border guard in an early 1980's communist state tasked with inspecting documentation for people wanting to enter the country. I can unequivocally say, this is a good game.

Every morning you get requirements for entry, often very different from the day before; as the game progresses you get more and better tools for the inspections, but taking the requirement changes into play means more work, then add in the fact that you get paid by the number of people you process, and not very well. When you're done you have to allot your salary for household expenses, usually resulting in what member of your family you let suffer, or die, due to not enough money for basic necessities.

Graphics intensive it is not.

Frustration #1 is your superiors will always know when you screwed up so letting the wrong person in or denying the wrong person often ends up penalizing you, resulting in not enough money taken home. Frustration # 2 is the fact that properly analysing each person takes too long so you don't bring home enough money either way. Throw in a subplot about spies and revolutions that actually matter to you (because, hello, bribes!) and you get an experience you can get immersed in.

I'm giving this one a 9/10, I'd like to give it full marks, but it's a little too frustrating for that. Then again, replace the word "frustration" with "challenge" and you've got what makes a game worth playing.

Serious Sam 3 BFE

After the triumph of playing Serious Sam 2 I was looking forward to Serious Sam 3, although I may have been a little too amped up by 2. To be clear, this is not a bad game by any means, but it does fall a bit short of the mark set by the previous title.

It's a good looking and well built game, the aliens are well designed, and the weapons are nicely built and executed. The problem I had is that it comes too close to being another Call of Duty clone during the first 3 levels when grabbing the interest of the player is so important; if I had no Serious Sam history, I don't know if I would have bothered playing through them.

Surely a double barrelled shotgun is the best choice for suicide bombers.

When the game hits its stride, it does it very, very well; at that point the game has a great flow to it and the weapons meld into your form flawlessly. Once you have a few guns at your disposal the baddies start swarming and suddenly your back in that Serious Sam world where ammo flows and aliens die in heaps and piles, all the fun and frustration are there at your fingertips. I should also note that if your new to Serious Sam, frustration comes with the territory, be prepared to repeat swarm fights until you get it right, this game gives you everything you need to win, but that doesn't mean they make it easy.

I'm going to give this one 7/10  it's a good game but, at full price, it's not a cheap title, and it does lose marks for those first 3 levels. I think it boils down to this: If you're going to put a word like "serious" in your title, you can't expect people to take you serious, irony is the goal here, otherwise you should call yourself "Dude Who Shoots Aliens in Desert Settings with Bigger, and Bigger Guns!" which, to be fair, also sounds like an amazing game I would pick up in a heartbeat.

Serious Sam 2

After the last 2 days I'm glad to get back into the FPS realm, a realm that Serious Sam 2 opened the door to, then blew it off the hinges and set the rubble on fire. Serious Sam 2 is some serious fun. It took the best of it's progenitor and gave the extra needed for a real win.

The Serious Sam is what Doom hoped to become and the vision Borderlands was spawned from. This game is nothing but out and out, full on, shooting everything that moves; there is no reality present to detract from it's vision, bigger and badder guns against bigger and badder targets, wave after wave of bad guys to mow down.

Man with rocket launcher vs cruise missile equipped Robo-sharks, just as nature intended.

The ammo is almost limitless, you just need to get through each wave with what you have in order to get replenished, same as health and armor: survive and you'll get more. In a different context the bad guys could be terrifying, but they balance perfectly with the game mood; a mood set by pop culture references and 4rth Wall shattering fun (although if you've never seen The Warriors, "Kleers, Come Out to Play" may not make much sense).

The graphics are dated, the game was released in 2005, as are some of the mechanics, but it is enough fun to keep from getting dropped through the genre cracks. I don't know when, or if, I'll play it again, but the single play I got out of it gave me over 20 hours of enjoyment and, even though I was unable to defeat the final boss (Fuck you Mental Institute), I'm giving this full 10/10 rating.

Serious Sam - The Random Encounter

I wasn't expecting much from Serious Sam - The Random Encounter but I gave it a try anyway. Another entry from the indie licenses, this NES era style turn based action game looks and feels like it could have actually been made in the late 80's; while that is exactly what they were going for, I don't think it was worth the effort.

The beauty of Serious Sam is the balls out action, nonstop shooting, punctuated by the quiet moments (at least when you're being shot at you expect to die at any moment). This game tries to take the humor and meld it with a quiet strategy which actually doesn't work badly, it just doesn't belong in the Serious Sam franchise.

Maybe if the pixels were blockier...

You walk through a world map with random encounters, starting an encounter gives you the combat menus which are used to program your responses with, and every 5 seconds you get the option to change your attack, There are lots of items and guns, but the soul of the game has been torn out and left gasping for air in someone's IDE during some long forgotten compile. Serious Sam is about serious firepower and serious action, this game is about serious menu selections.

4/10 for this member of the franchise, the game is well made and is decently priced, it's just not what I'm looking for in a game experience.

Serious Sam Double D XXL

After watching the trailer for Serious Sam Double D XXL (make sure you turn on the sound for that one) I was hoping for a lot of fun from this game, however I was left somewhat wanting. This isn't necessarily a bad game, I think it would be great on a console, but the PC port is not great.

Leading up to the release of the newest Serious Sam title a few indie licenses were handed out, this was one of the entries. You can tell a lot of effort was put into this game and, again, on a different platform it may come across better, but controlling the action with a keyboard and mouse really didn't pan out well.

Although it's not without its charms...

I'm also not a fan of the  platforming aspect, it's been a number of years since I've played a 2D sidescroller, and even more since I enjoyed one. The guns and firepower are great and the enemies are well crafted and balanced, in accordance to Serious Sam canon, but Sam just didn't respond well enough to make things a lot of fun.

5/10 for this one as I'm really on the fence, it looks great, and the gun stacker system is almost worth the price of admission alone, but the 2D action and controls leave me wanting. If you enjoy sidescrollers I think you can do worse than this one, otherwise just scroll on past this title.

Serious Sam

Serious Sam is Serious Fun! How do you argue with the formula [Guns - (bad guys/ammo)] x Humour? No matter how you spin that bottle it always lands on good times. There are actually 2 titles in the original run of the game, The First Encounter and The Second Encounter, but they're little more than episodes 1 and 2 of the same game, and, as such, I consider them one. I also found I had the HD editions of both games in my library but Serious Sam Classics: Revolutions takes both titles, in HD, and adds a little extra in one game, so that's the one I played the most of.

Sam is all about saving the world, and he's Serious about it; that's all you need to know about him and his universe. Guns are plentiful and ammo piles on top of more ammo; I couldn't find a shortage of health packs or armour either. Dive in and mow down some of the more unique baddies ever created and have a good time. Seriously though, if I ever encountered ANY of things in real life my soul would have a stroke, rocket launcher or not.

AW YEAH!

The original release was in 2001, so game is dated. I'm not used to looking for triggers to open doors anymore, and searching for health and armour has not been "cool" for a long time, but I actually miss that aspect in gaming; health regeneration is a neat concept, but rarely used properly. I would also say that this game stands up much better than many games I've played from that same time, even without the HD update. Oh yeah, there is multiplayer as well, which might be fun, but I don't think anybody gives a crap about that.

I'm going 9/10, I enjoyed every moment played and if you only buy Revolutions the price is decent (and to be blunt Revolutions is the only one you need to buy). My only reservation is the replay value, having played through I don't think I'll ever bother again. Let me just leave you with the words of Sam "Serious" Stone: "Give a man a bullet and he'll ask for a gun; give a man a gun, and he'll give bullets away for free!"

Bookworm Deluxe

Bookworm Deluxe seems like a waste of energy to me. At its heart the game is an updated version of scrabble, and there-in lies the rub.

I don't want to match tiles to create words. I know lots already and I'll learn more from reading; playing a game to do it is pointless for me.

Everything you need to know about this one.

My wife has played a lot of this game and has enjoyed it; I have played a little and did not. 3/10, there is an educational value and it's a nice looking game, but nothing of real interest for me.

Big Money Deluxe

Big Money Deluxe is yet another entry in the PopCap library. Not much to be said about this one.

It's essentially Tetris reversed, then crossed with Bejeweled; click matching sets of coloured orbs in groups of 3 or more to clear them out; fill a meter to get money bags; a set number of bags clears the level allowing you to move on. Rinse, repeat.

There it is in all it's capitalistic glory.

6/10, I did enjoy the little I played and it is very cheap, but there isn't a lot to offer.

Snapshot

Yet another platformer in my library, I don't know why I keep getting these, I think they're mostly Humble Bundle purchases. For what it's worth, Snapshot is a neat little game, just not a style I want to play

Basic gameplay is about moving through a side scrolling environment, you take pictures of objects which can be reconstituted in other spots to help you move through (usually over).

Make of this what you will

It's a nice looking game, it controls well, and it is a neat concept, but it's not what I'm looking for. This gets a grand total of 3/10 for the above reasons, I'm sure it'll work for someone, but not me.

Shatter

What does one say about Shatter? It's essentially an updated version of Breakout, but thats not really a bad thing.

Here's the game: bounce a ball back and forth and break blocks, breaking blocks gives you shards that fill a meter that gives you special attacks to clear out more blocks.

Enough movement and shiny lights for the most ADHD person alive!

It's a good looking game, the physics work excellently, and the game manages to be challenging without being frustrating, all in all a good mix.

I', going 6/10, the game is very playable and even entertaining, but it does get old fast.

Toki Tori

Toki Tori is a bright cheery paltfomer and I, for the life of me, cannot understand why it's in my library. I installed it, it started, I tried it, I hated it, nothing more to be said. Give this one a 1/10, it might appeal to someone, but I don't want to know who.

Battle Group 2

Battle Group 2 is thhe mating of Battleship and Missile Command. I enjoyed this game, not in spite of it's quirks, but because of them; there is something to be said for dialogue written in one language then translated to another with BabelFish.

You play a flotilla of boats that are cruising through hostile waters, shooting down planes, missiles, and sinking suicide boats to make it through safely. There are a couple boss battles, but they aren't much tougher than the level preceding them.

Looks pretty cool,don't it?

Destroying enemies gives you oil which is used to upgrade your boats or buy better ones. There are satellite weapons too, also bought with oil, but they pretty much win the game for you. The campaign is short, but it does have a bit of challenge and it's really well detailed.

My favorite part is the dialog, ranging from the pedantic, "No one can beat our Gunner!", to the bizarre "This jungle is full of enemies!" (as you sail across open water). Ship upgrades are maybe a little too easy to come by, as you can repeatedly play through previous levels to get more oil, but it is nice to be able to play through a game without too much sweating.

The price is right,5.99, for such a good looking and well crafted game, however the campaign is short, probably 2-3 hours max, if you take time for all the upgrades. I'm going 7/10, I really enjoyed what there is, but there isn't a whole big bunch there.

Leviathan Warships

I was looking forward to playing Leviathan Warships so much I bought a Humble Bundle for the simple fact this game was in it.

Seriously, how cool does that game look?

Got it, installed it, found it it was multiplayer only

FAIL!!!!

0/10, no matter how good a game looks, I do not need a game that hinges on finding another person to play it with me; if I wanted to depend on other people I'd have a social life!

Chuzzle Deluxe

What the Hell is with PopCap games calling everything Deluxe? It's not that they make bad games by any means, but I don't know what makes them 'Deluxe'! Chuzzle Deluxe is a prime example of the overuse of this term.

This isn't a bad game, but if this is deluxe I can't imagine what the regular version is. Bejeweled, expect, instead of sliding individual items, you slid rows and columns, rows and columns of semi-anthropomorphic furry little balls to match 3 or more; get enough and you move to the next level.

Although it is rather cathartic watching them explode.

That's the whole game. 4/10, not a bad game and the price is right, but there are far better options in casual gaming.

Burn Zombie Burn

Burn Zombie Burn must be a prototype for All Zombies Must Die that someone decided to monetize, but I actually have no problem with that.

The title sums up the game nicely, you wander around levels mowing down wave after wave of zombies, using weapons you find scattered around, up to, and including a Gatling gun; how often do you get the chance to use a Gatling gun on waves of zombies? If you answer anything other than "All the time!" then it's not enough

Not pictured here: Giant zombies shooting flames out of their asses.

I had a lot of fun with this game, which is not hard to believe as it's the perfect embodiment of a good night out. I don't think there is enough to keep a person happy long term, but sometimes fun enough is enough.

I'm going 7/10 with this one, lots of fun and good looking, but I had trouble getting it out of it's small windowed display and I think the price might be too high for what you get out of it.

The Book of Legends

The Book of Legends is esssentially an old school RPG. Laid out on roughly PS1 graphics it seems like a decent enough game but I don't know if I have the patience to play it

Although it's not without its charms...

You have a quest to banish a demon and wander through the world finding companions and fighting through random monster encounters. If you played an RPG in the 90's, that's what your getting here.

I'm going 5/10 on this one, the game is well laid out, has a decent control system, and is nice looking, but the cut scenes are long and not very interesting. and, it's all said and done, I don't know if this style of gaming holds up today. I know it doesn't for me.

Venice Deluxe

Venice Deluxe is a different game than I'm used to, a kind of casual action puzzler I guess. Not a badly made game, but I don't think it's my cup of tea.

They could have set this pretty much anyplace, so there's no real hook for the Venice aspect; your onscreen avatar is a gondola and you ride a rising wave of water, but just about anything could have been substituted there. Let's chalk this one up to faux snobbery.

Truly, an example of old Italian something or other

You shoot objects from your gondola into moving targets, trying to spin the objects to cascade into other targets. As you progress things get harder and your very limited on tries, missing an object drops it in the water and is lost. Only point to this game is building points, not exactly a good gaming model for this age.

This is gettign a 4/10, not a bad game in any aspect, but I need a bit more out of my games.

SpaceChem

I've played SpaceChem in the past but thought I'd give it another try, I find I'm a little torn on this one.

The game is sort of a puzzler, you propel atoms along paths to build molecules using "action" tiles. There is more to it than that, but that's enough to get the idea of what's going on.

I really have nothing to add here.

The game is intelligently made with very well thought out puzzles, and, while not without enjoyment, and certainly offering challenge, I think the challenge outweighs the fun in this one.

I'm going 4/10, it's not easy enough to be a casual game and it's priced fairly high for it's style. Just not feeling any love here.

Talismania Deluxe

Talismania Deluxe is yet another Popcap casual game, but different, and in a good way. Although there is little new implemented in the design, the layout and general feel are quite pleasing.

The game play is connecting lines on a geometric screen to form a path between 2 or more objects, trying to catch powerups and bonuses in between to boost your score. Finishing screens give you points to build assorted items, all associated with Greek mythology.

Connecting lines has never been so full of connectivity.

The Greek mythology references, including mini games oriented around the gods, are nothing special, but I do appreciate the references. I don't think I learned much I didn't already know, but it is interesting to be reminded of these things.

I'm going 7/10 on this one, not a complex game, and some of the puzzles get frustrating, but it is very cheap and drives enough to burn a few hours away on.

World of Goo

I've played World of Goo in the past, but it's always a fight to get it up and running. To be blunt, I don't think the game offers enough to make it worth the fight.

World of Goo is actually neat little game, you get a bunch of goo blobs and need to build structures out of them to complete goals; imagine trying to build a ladder out of Jello blocks to replace a light bulb and you have the game.

A viscous, organic, and jiggly tower of Babel

The game works well, once you get it started, and the puzzles offer challenge, but I keep coming back to the difficulty starting it up.

I'm going 4/10 on this one, the game is decently made and is fun, once you get it running. If I was pirating this game I'd work and tweak for as long as it took, but I'm not, I paid for this game, it should work when I start it up.

Star Wars: Dark Forces

Star Wars: Dark Forces is an old friend of mine, unfortunately it is a friendship long past it's prime. Although it was first released in 1995, I initially played this game a year or two later on the PS1 It remained among my favourites for years, however it is now dated, so very, very, dated.

The easiest way to describe this game would be Doom in the Star Wars universe: an FPS where you go through levels, set as labyrinths modelled after Star Wars set pieces. You shoot stormtroopers, and a wide array of other bad guys, with the goal to stop yet another fiendish Imperial plan. The game offers a wide array of guns and grenades and a great difficulty curve for getting to know their power and uses.

You think the Stormtrooper "Armour" is meant to be an ironic term?

Although the game was updated for sale on Steam a couple years ago all they did was integrate DOSBox into the exe so the original game will run on modern systems with very little fuss; personally, I think they could have saved themselves the efforts. Even if you ignore the graphics, searching and rerunning levels to find keys and switches is not a great use of your time.

10 years ago I would have highly recommended this game: it was fun, it was well built, and it added to the universe canon. Today, the game is a hotbed of archaic styles controlling, horrible graphics (this was actually built for pre Windows systems), and an ear-splitting soundtrack; don't even get me started on the motion sickness aspect via the switchable "head-bob" feature.

If this game was remastered with HD graphics and an updated control scheme I'd play it again and give it an easy 10/10. In its current form I'd give this maybe 3/10, and it's getting nostalgia points to get that high. If you have time to waste and a burning need to see a little remembered corner of the Star Wars universe, it'll do, but that's about it. The Force is weak in this one!

Jewel Quest

Not going to beat around the bush with this one, I'm not enjoying it. Jewel Quest is actually a series of games, Jewel Quest, Jewel Quest 2, Jewel Quest 3, and Jewel Quest Mysteries, pretty much the same game over and over.

This is essentially a Bejeweled game with a small twist, matching the gems on the board change the background tiles, change all the tiles to complete a board and move to the next one. The first 3 games are pretty much the same thing, although 2 and 3 give the extra twist of creating and matching gold coins, which just makes the levels a pain in the ass. Mysteries changes things up a bit by adding in the old "Find Crap in The Junk Pile" gimmick.

Screencap courtesy of Steam

The gamplay is solid enough, although there is little to drive you forward other than completion of the game itself, which isn't for me. The game just didn't grab me.

I'm going 3/10 on this one, nothing wrong with it, but nothing right about it either. It's a better option than some games I've tried, but not by much.

Eets

I don't know where this game came from or what it's even supposed to be, Eets was literally unplayable.

Crap!

I installed this game twice, both times I got the output above, links are clickable but give no usable information. I don't know if this is supposed to look like this, but I do know I have no patience to fight with it.

0/10, end of story!

Wizorb

Wizorb is not what I was expecting at all, but that doesn't mean I don't like it. At 2.99 full price it is impossible to argue with the value, and it doesn't hurt that it's kind of fun.

Starting it up looks and sounds like a high end 8 bit graphic RPG, but what you get is an RPG crossed with Breakout, an interesting mix to say the least.

All the fun of balls being thrown, with all the heartache of missed catches.

The basic story is you play a wizard who is helping to rebuild a kingdom after an invasion, battling demons makes money that will be used to rebuild, and the battles are fought by you transforming into an orb and being flung against the environment. Like I said, not what I was expecting.

I'm giving this one 9/10, it got extra points for being cheap, but I find myself genuinely enjoying the game, there's something to be said for this style and it's good to see someone innovating.

Rocket Mania Deluxe

Rocket Mania Deluxe is a fun game, there is just no other way to put it; it doesn't hurt that it's cheap either.

Game is simple, you've got a series of fireworks on one side of the screen that you need to set off, they are connected by fuses strung across tiles that need to be turned to make the fuses connect to the fireworks.

Fireworks, that is all!

There are a couple of different game modes, such as a Tetris style game where fuse lengths drop from above, a timed "Classic" mode, but the Strategy mode, where you have a set number of matches to light fuses but earn more for multiple matches, was enough to keep me going for hours.

I can't find a flaw with this game, it's a straight up 8/10, top marks for a casual game.