Star Wars: Dark Forces

Star Wars: Dark Forces is an old friend of mine, unfortunately it is a friendship long past it's prime. Although it was first released in 1995, I initially played this game a year or two later on the PS1 It remained among my favourites for years, however it is now dated, so very, very, dated.

The easiest way to describe this game would be Doom in the Star Wars universe: an FPS where you go through levels, set as labyrinths modelled after Star Wars set pieces. You shoot stormtroopers, and a wide array of other bad guys, with the goal to stop yet another fiendish Imperial plan. The game offers a wide array of guns and grenades and a great difficulty curve for getting to know their power and uses.

You think the Stormtrooper "Armour" is meant to be an ironic term?

Although the game was updated for sale on Steam a couple years ago all they did was integrate DOSBox into the exe so the original game will run on modern systems with very little fuss; personally, I think they could have saved themselves the efforts. Even if you ignore the graphics, searching and rerunning levels to find keys and switches is not a great use of your time.

10 years ago I would have highly recommended this game: it was fun, it was well built, and it added to the universe canon. Today, the game is a hotbed of archaic styles controlling, horrible graphics (this was actually built for pre Windows systems), and an ear-splitting soundtrack; don't even get me started on the motion sickness aspect via the switchable "head-bob" feature.

If this game was remastered with HD graphics and an updated control scheme I'd play it again and give it an easy 10/10. In its current form I'd give this maybe 3/10, and it's getting nostalgia points to get that high. If you have time to waste and a burning need to see a little remembered corner of the Star Wars universe, it'll do, but that's about it. The Force is weak in this one!

Jewel Quest

Not going to beat around the bush with this one, I'm not enjoying it. Jewel Quest is actually a series of games, Jewel Quest, Jewel Quest 2, Jewel Quest 3, and Jewel Quest Mysteries, pretty much the same game over and over.

This is essentially a Bejeweled game with a small twist, matching the gems on the board change the background tiles, change all the tiles to complete a board and move to the next one. The first 3 games are pretty much the same thing, although 2 and 3 give the extra twist of creating and matching gold coins, which just makes the levels a pain in the ass. Mysteries changes things up a bit by adding in the old "Find Crap in The Junk Pile" gimmick.

Screencap courtesy of Steam

The gamplay is solid enough, although there is little to drive you forward other than completion of the game itself, which isn't for me. The game just didn't grab me.

I'm going 3/10 on this one, nothing wrong with it, but nothing right about it either. It's a better option than some games I've tried, but not by much.

Eets

I don't know where this game came from or what it's even supposed to be, Eets was literally unplayable.

Crap!

I installed this game twice, both times I got the output above, links are clickable but give no usable information. I don't know if this is supposed to look like this, but I do know I have no patience to fight with it.

0/10, end of story!

Wizorb

Wizorb is not what I was expecting at all, but that doesn't mean I don't like it. At 2.99 full price it is impossible to argue with the value, and it doesn't hurt that it's kind of fun.

Starting it up looks and sounds like a high end 8 bit graphic RPG, but what you get is an RPG crossed with Breakout, an interesting mix to say the least.

All the fun of balls being thrown, with all the heartache of missed catches.

The basic story is you play a wizard who is helping to rebuild a kingdom after an invasion, battling demons makes money that will be used to rebuild, and the battles are fought by you transforming into an orb and being flung against the environment. Like I said, not what I was expecting.

I'm giving this one 9/10, it got extra points for being cheap, but I find myself genuinely enjoying the game, there's something to be said for this style and it's good to see someone innovating.

Rocket Mania Deluxe

Rocket Mania Deluxe is a fun game, there is just no other way to put it; it doesn't hurt that it's cheap either.

Game is simple, you've got a series of fireworks on one side of the screen that you need to set off, they are connected by fuses strung across tiles that need to be turned to make the fuses connect to the fireworks.

Fireworks, that is all!

There are a couple of different game modes, such as a Tetris style game where fuse lengths drop from above, a timed "Classic" mode, but the Strategy mode, where you have a set number of matches to light fuses but earn more for multiple matches, was enough to keep me going for hours.

I can't find a flaw with this game, it's a straight up 8/10, top marks for a casual game.

Pizza Frenzy

Pizza Frenzy is essentially a pizza delivery simulator, there is very little more to say about it, other than it's cheap at 4.99.

You get orders from people in the neighborhood and drop them on the appropriate kitchen to get automatically made and delivered.

Everyone  loves the pizza dude!

It's a bright and cheery game, it works well enough for what it does, but it just doesn't appeal to me for any reason. I'm rapdily discovering points oriented games do not appeal to me anymore.

I'm going 3/10 on this, even with the cheap price, there is simply nothing to engage me as a player.

Alan Wake

Alan Wake was part of the EA bundle from last year. I had thought about picking this one up for quite sometime but didn't feel the price outweighed the perceived value so, when this came available for a price I set myself, I jumped it. Not sorry I bought it, but it's not as good as I was hoping.

The game is a bit resource heavy, mainly on the graphics, but it is one of the more visually appealing games I've played. The mechanics are sound and well crafted, although I did have to turn my mouse sensitivity down to the lowest setting to make it work right, but that's not really a fault, just a comment.

OOOOH, scary planes landing behind you!

An over the shoulder third person action game its got a bit of a Silent Hill vibe to it and a fairly unique concept; although guns are present most combat is conducted with light. In the opening encounter you learn to use your flashlight as a weapon and, to further instil the lessons, a flare gun, which is this games version of a rocket launcher.

The atmosphere is really well done. Once you get past the half wit NPC's it does a better than average job of drawing you in. Having said that, I can't say as I'm a fan of the narration style that uses a pulp fiction horror style; the information given through narration does a great deal to help draw you in, but I've never been a fan of that style of writing

I'm rating this 5/10, I like to encourage innovative game development, and this is fairly unique, but it's list price and story telling style stop me from going higher. At the end of the day I just can't decide if I actually like this game.

Gunpoint

Gunpoint is one of the more interesting games I've ever played. A low resolution spy thriller, it's all about stealth and not really about kills; stealth and really amazing jumping.

You're a professional spy (whatever that means) complete with a trench coat and hat, from what I can tell of the 4 pixels that makeup the main character. If this was simply a stealth focused game I'd arbitrarily dismiss it, but it's actually a very well thought out puzzler.

Yup, that's actually the game right there.

You get a mission, generally to sneak into a building, having to use gadgets to trick guards and power jumps to enter areas. The idea with this game is to figure out how to get around everything without being spotted, guards shoot to kill on sight, but they can be tricked by turning off lights and approaching them from behind.

I'm giving this one an 7/10, it's a really unique idea and I enjoyed the levels I played. I'm betting replayability is pretty low on this one and it's certainly not a glamorous looking game but if you get it on sale it would be worth checking out.

Hell Yeah

Hell Yeah is essentially a platformer, albeit a decent one. This Sega game that puts you as a rabbit running Hell (literally), who gets caught in a scandal and needs to destroy all the witnesses.

This would likely be a better experience with a controller, but when I tried the game I only had access to a keyboard; having said that it actually controlled quite well with a keyboard.

An undead rabbit armed with a rocket propelled buzz saw, nope, nothing to see here.

The game tries a bit too hard with it's humour, not that it doesn't work, but it could use a little subtlety. The cartooney graphics work very well, dulling the edge of the ultraviolence, making it almost fit for the younger audience.

I'm a bit pressed on rating this one but I think I'll go 6/10. There is nothing wrong with it, but 14.99 is a bit steep for the game and, more importantly, there isn't much to set it apart from other platformers. To sum up: nothing glaringly wrong but nothing shining a spotlight either.

Sacred Citadel

Sacred Citadel is a hack and slash brawler, not unlike Shank, but with a sword and sorcery thing going on. It would appear there is a multiplayer aspect going on, that likely enhances the gameplay, but I guess we'll never know for sure.

Standard fare for these games, a sidescrolling action that keeps you getting pitted against bigger and more enemies that you need to plow through. As you go you collect better weapons and level up, generally enhancing your power.

With so much violence in mines, why aren't we regulating these things yet?

The controls seem to work quite well, combo's are easy to pull off and the enemies are either not numerous enough to make impossible, or you have the power you need to move through them. either way, the game works well and is a lot of fun.

I'm going 8/10 on this one, it's a good looking game with a decent control scheme, although depth perception can be an issue (orienting yourself with objects above or below your plane) and there are some platforming aspects I'm not a fan of (although this isn't a large part of the game), and a bit of humor thrown in. This one won't change your life, but it'll pass a few hours

Anodyne

Anodyne came to be by way of another Humble Bundle, although I have no idea which one. I immediately liked this one as it reminded of the Nintendo - Super Nintendo RPG's, games I remember fondly, although I was leery of how much time I would need to invest in the game. I still don't know how much time I'll need, but I think I'll enjoy getting there.

This game is, at its essence, what RPG's would have been like without constant random monster encounters, moving through a map and solving puzzles to continue:

Puzzling!

There is more to it than that, but that's enough to keep me interested. The throw back 8-bit graphics, ultra simple control scheme, and sense of humour in the writing are all wins in my book.

I'm giving this one an 8/10, I haven't finished it yet so I don't know if there is enough to keep me interested long term, but, when it's all said and done, I like this game.

Romance of Rome

Romance of Rome is your standard find the item in the junk pile game, there really is little else to describe it, however it managed to keep me engaged long enough to finish it; how, or even better, why, it did is beyond me, but there it is.

This one tries to have a bit more story to it, you're travelling to Rome and need to make money before you get there and, for some unexplained reason, you get money for finding junk in piles. There is a fair bit of story behind this, but, to be honest, I skipped past all of it.

The guys I see in my dumpster probably don't have this much fun.

The point of finding things in other places, then having to come back to the original, or often, three other locations to find the right thing, seems to have given the game a hook needed to keep me playing. The formula used seems to have worked real well, but I think it'd lightening in a bottle, I doubt it would work well used a second time.

I'm giving this one a 6/10, it kept me playing for the hour and a half it took to complete, but I still can't say why this one did when other, similar titles, couldn't.

Jamestown

Jamestown is an interesting little number, a revisionist/alternate history where Britain has settled Mars instead of North America, and Spain has aligned itself with the Martians. You fly a spaceship shooting bad guys, because of course you do!

It plays a lot like 1941 and that entire line of games; there is a multiplayer aspect that I assume would enhance the experience, but I judge a game by what it does for me, not a group of people.

Words can only describe so much...

The game has a fairly steep difficulty curve, and playing on normal only allows you so far, level advancement is tied to performance on previous levels, so you have to gut up and play through the pain to advance.The game has something of an 8 bit graphics thing going on that I kind of like, and the firepower is awesome to behold, but I don't know if that's enough for success.

I'm giving this one a 5/10, it's not a bad game but I don't think there is enough to keep me engaged, after an hour I found myself getting bored.

Bastion

Bastion is a great game, I don't think I can find anything wrong with this title! You get a 3rd person top down RPG with a bit of humor and a fairly compelling story that keeps you running along.

You play "The Kid", a survivor of a catastrophe that has destroyed your home city and it's up to you to rebuild it, even though you appear to be the only one left alive to live in it, so I'm not sure why you're bothering. The story is narrated by "The Old Man" who supplies you with info, but not much else. From your home base of Bastion (See the connection there?) you quest through levels looking for crystals to to re-power Bastion.

Falling of the edge is a danger, but not as threatening as one would think.

I'm a big fan of the "Life" system in the game: There is no real concept of lives, if you die you get a couple chances to retry before having to restart the whole level, a great mix of accessibility and difficulty. Other than that, it's pretty much standard RPG stuff, collect and upgrade weapons, gather XP to level, so on and so forth.

I really thought The Old man was going to be irritating when I first started, he narrates the story using a 1940's Noir technique that I find a bit grating, but it didn't take too long to discover he actually feeds you useful information, like health levels and enemy confrontations, in this way; the narration stays entertaining and useful through pretty much the whole game.

I'm giving this a full 9/10, I highly recommend this game. Although the story and action have all been done before, humour and a decent difficulty curve have kept me engaged far longer than I expected.

Beat Hazard

Wow, I mean, just wow! What do you say about a game that warns you against seizures during startup? Beat Hazard an awesome little game.

The best way to describe this would be the mutant offspring of Asteroids and a very strong dose of Ecstasy. You control a ship that fires non-stop at all sorts of enemies and obstacles, spinning around in circles and zipping across the screen, picking up powerups as you go.

Maybe it was the result of Tommy Chong molesting an Asteroids game, I just dunno!

A unique twist is that Beat hazard powered by music, from pretty much any source. I only used the files that came with the game, but I'm looking forward to trying it out with some of my own music.

I'm going 7/10 on this one; not a lot of variety to it, but there is enough lights, colours, and shooting to keep the interest of all but the most hardcore ADHD cases. If you find it on sale you should definitely try it out.

Bejeweled

What does one say about Bejeweled that hasn't already been said? Not much, if you like a casual game then this one is for you. To be blunt, if you need to read a blog about Bejeweled then maybe video games aren't really you're "thing" (that's right, I played the nerd snob card).

My library included Bejeweled Deluxe, Bejeweled 2 Deluxe, Bejeweled 3, and Bejeweled Twist (I bought the entire Popcap library when I first joined Steam, my wife loves these games). Not much difference between any of them so they'll get treated as one.

Behold: Bejeweled!

Bottom line, they're fun casual strategy games (Steam classification, not mine). You can kill a little time here, or a lot, no story to get bogged down in and the game play could be grasped by an encephalitic chimp with late stage rabies.

Rated 7/10, you know exactly what you're getting with this one although, I will say, other games have done it better by now.

Bridge Constructor Medieval

Bridge Constructor Medieval was part of the Merge Humble Bundle, which I mostly picked up for this game, knowing nothing about it other than it's title. All in all I'm happy with the purchase.

This is one of those rare treats that is also available as a mobile game, but that shouldn't be held against it as it is fun and, more importantly, challenging. The game is simple, build bridges using only medieval materials, the goal is to create a supply line for your country during an invasion.

Look at those supplies move!

You've got a set amount of money to spend and a given number of units that have to make it across safely to complete each screen. Invaders show up occasionally and throw stuff at your bridges, but, as long as your units make it across before the bridge is destroyed your good. Each map has slightly different terrain and usually a different set of materials to use.

I'm giving this one an 8/10, I'm enjoying it and it's keeping me engaged, but this is not high impact gaming, there is more thought than action, and a lot of trial and error involved. However, if that's your thing, this is the thing for you.

Cogs

Cogs has to be a Humble Bundle purchase, I can think of no other reason for it to be in my library. This one is a puzzle solving exercise, and a damned well built one too I might add.

The game is a series of mechanical puzzles, moving gears and piping to direct steam or mechanical energy to drive a mechanism; think the hacking games in Bioshock, but only the hacking games. A frame of movable tiles with on empty space, rearrange to make a mechanical connection, sometimes requiring multiple sides to be solved.

Bioshock never made a Jack in the Box, not once!

It's a very nice looking game, some if the puzzles are quite complex, and the solution usually results in a nice little animation.

I'm going 8/10 on this one, it's fun and makes you think, although people with spatial orientation issues may find it as pleasurable as masturbating with sandpaper, no amount of effort will ever leave you satisfied.

Costume Quest

I don't remember when or why I picked up Costume Quest, but I'm going to assume it was part of a Humble Bundle. Built like a kids game it's got a good design,albeit a bit older in execution, and a decent combat system. Graphics are nothing fancy, but they work well with the general atmosphere. I found myself enjoying this one much more than I expected to.

Looks pretty cool base don that screenshot, doesn't it?

Long story short, you go trick or treating and end up fighting monsters. Along the way you find different costumes that give you different powers, completing missions give you more candy/costume parts and a fair bit of neighborhood exploration tie up the rest of the game. There is a plot to the game, but I didn't pay much attention to it past the opening cut scenes so obviously it's not anything too engaging.

Combat is generally a quick time event, but it's one of the better ones I've seen. I'm not a fan of QTE's but this one wasn't badly done.

Nothing innovative and, again, probably more for a 10-14 year old audience, but fun is where you find it. I'm giving this one 7/10, if you get it for dirt cheap, it's not a total miss, but I don't think it will appeal a broad audience.

Zombie Bowl-O-Rama

Zombie Bowl-O-Rama is a fun little casual game that I can't find much wrong with. An interesting concept, bowling, but instead of pins, zombies. Throw your ball, using various powerups and knock the zombies down before they walk down the alley and reach you.

Undead bowling at its finest.

I enjoyed the bit of this game I played, although there isn't much going on. There is a vs mode for those possessing enough people skills to have a friend or two, but the single mode was all I tried out.

I'm giving this an 7/10, a fun way to kill a couple hours, but, if you manage to get it on sale, it's worth picking up.

Shank

Shank is a fun little game for what is, essentially, an updated Double Dragon knockoff. A blood drenched side scrolling beat 'em up with just the right amount of attitude, but, be warned, to properly play the game you need a controller.

To be fair, the first thing you see when you start this game up is a message stating that a controller is required for full enjoyment, so I was warned about it. I attempted to map my keyboard to the controls, but was left with limited results; adding a controller did cure much of this ailment.

Got a Street Fighter gone Mexican vibe to it.

You play a super-badass on a tale of revenge through a Mexican town, fighting of gangs on a quest to defeat a man who almost beat you to death. Equipped with knives, guns, grenades, and a chainsaw, you seem well suited to the task at hand. Although fighting games have never ranked high on my lists, this one is not too bad at all.

I'm giving this a 7/10, if it was easier to play on the keyboard I'd go higher, and the controller does work well, but my personal bias is at play here. Viva la Revolucion!